Monday, 11 March 2013
I still remember that very cold night of September 1, the day I decided to sell my body even though I claim to be a born again Christian. I did that because I was tired and frustrated about my father’s constant nagging because I was still single at my age.
He made it look like a sin to be single. His constant nagging made me feel that God had forgotten about me after all my years of serving Him. It was frustrating still being a virgin and single at the age of 36. However, I sold my virginity to a man I don’t know, for a common N10, 000. If only I had remained just a little more patient at that time I would have married my God ordained husband but I thank God for giving me a second chance.
As a growing young woman, I had how I wanted my life to play out. For me, I should be married at the age 25 to the most loving and wonderful man on earth and be done with child bearing at age 30 or 31 and watch my children grow up with me.
But like the saying goes, man proposes but God disposes. I became a born again Christian in my second year at the University of Lagos. I was so deep into Christianity that all I had time for were church programmes and my books. I had some ‘brothers’ who liked me but then I was not interested in men because I felt they would be a distraction as I wanted to focus on school and God alone.
I am the eldest of four children, three girls and a boy. Our mother died about seven years ago and we were left with our father. The truth be told, I am the only Christian in my family, the others hardly go to church but it seems everything moved on fine for them except me. My two younger sisters got married to responsible and wealthy men while I was still praying to God to give me a husband.
I had moments when all I did was to cry myself to sleep because of my father’s attitude towards me regarding marriage. I had ‘brothers’ from church who asked for my hand in marriage but the problem was that they all wanted to go to bed with me first but that was not what I wanted. My father believed that I was still single because of my rules and standards; hence he decided to frustrate me.
Sometimes, when I get home from church, he would ask the gateman not to open the gate for me which means I had to go and sleep at any of my sister’s place. Sometimes once I get home especially from church, he would say, “Abigail, so where is the man you came home with? You carry the Bible everyday yet you are not married.
You sister’s who do not even go to church are married so what is the essence of carrying a Bible every day? You better ask your sisters how and where they got the men they got married to from so that you too can toe that path. It got so bad that he complains about whatever I do and this really worried me. One day, precisely September 1, I took a rather drastic decision which I still deeply regret.
I said to myself, “What has serving God and being a virgin at my age benefitted me? I am still single and my father is frustrating and making a mockery of me. I am tired. It is all going to end this night, I want to be wayward tonight,” I murmured. That night, I lied to my father that I was going for a vigil; he looked at me from headto- toe hissed and walked away. I found myself in front of a brothel with some other girls as my heart was beating so fast. In less than 20 minutes, two men arrived in a jeep and one said he was interested in spending the night with me; he introduced himself as Gabriel while the other man sat quietly as if he was disgusted with what his friend was doing.
He later introduced himself as Robert. Initially, I was so scared but after we talked for a while, I followed them to their room. Gabriel proposed to pay me N10, 000 and I agreed. When we got to the hotel, it was obvious that they had just come into the country. I spent the night with Gabriel in his room and he was surprised that I was a virgin. He asked me my age and I told him.
He shocked me when he said, “If at age 36 you are still a virgin, then, you should have had more patient and waited till your wedding night instead of giving it away to a total stranger and for a mere N10,000.” Tears dripped down my cheeks as if a sword was being used to pierce through my chest. “Abigail, the truth is that no matter what you are passing through in the hands of your father, you should have exercised more patient.
But the truth is that if I was not already married, I would have married you,” Gabriel emphasised. I left Gabriel’s hotel room feeling so sad and rejected. A week later, Hannah, my friend in church came to pay me a surprise visit at home. “Hannah, I can’t remember the last time you came to my house,” I said. She smiled and told me her brother who lives in the United Kingdom just came into the country. “My elder brother just came into the country. But Abigail what you don’t know is that I have told him a lot of good things about you.
One of the reasons he is in the country is so that he will meet you so that you people can talk. He said he is willing to settle down within three months if you agree to marry him.” At first I was happy but when I remembered what I had done, tears rolled down my eyes. For Hannah, she thought it was tears of joy that I was finally going to be married whereas for me, it was tears of regret.
Three days later, Hannah called to inform me that she had arranged for me to meet her brother in their house. I was so eager to meet him, however when I got there I prayed for the ground to open up and swallow me. I discovered that her brother was Robert and he recognised me instantly while I pretended never to have seen him. “Brother Robert, meet my friend Abigail, the woman I have been telling you about. I know you will like her,” she stressed. “I have seen this face before. Yes, she was the prostitute Gabriel picked up some days ago,” he disclosed.
Hannah tried to tell him that he was mistaking me for someone else but he was so sure of what he was saying because I didn’t defend myself. At last, I told Hannah what happened and she was so disappointed. Robert told me, “I actually came to Nigeria because of you. My sister wanted me to get married to you because she likes and admires you so much. Hannah told me, you are the best wife any man could ask for but I guess she is wrong. As a born again Christian, you should have held on firmly to God no matter the temptation,” he emphasised. He told me to go back to God and ask for forgiveness. He also opened up that he would have gone ahead to marry me if I had slept with another man but not his best friend, Gabriel who was already married. I left there in tears and shame.
Hannah told me he went back to the UK about three days later disappointed and heartbroken. Well, I know some ladies out there would have done worse than I did, but I am not judging anyone. My main concern is that parents should stop tormenting and putting pressure on their unmarried daughters because they would only push them to do unimaginable things which they later regret in life and find it very difficult to forgive them.
It took me sometime to forgive my father because I blamed what I did on him. But just as Robert advised, I went back to God and asked forgiveness and I am happy to say that God gave me a second chance at marriage. I will be getting married in a few weeks.